Short answer: No.

The concept of ‘cry-it-out’ can vary significantly among sleep experts, making it a common question asked by parents who want to improve their child’s sleep while still maintaining a gentle, consistent approach. As your certified pediatric sleep consultant, and a mother myself, I will not recommend strategies that I wouldn’t use with my own child. The ‘cry-it-out’ method involves placing your baby in their crib awake at bedtime and allowing them to cry themselves to sleep without returning to offer assistance or reassurance. Rest assured that I will NOT advise using the traditional ‘cry-it-out’ method that involves ignoring your child’s tears without responding. Rather, my approach incorporates various evidence-based, behavioral techniques that have been proven effective not only with many families I worked with but also with my own child.

One of the most frequently asked questions from parents is whether crying will be involved during sleep program. It’s essential to address and clarify this before beginning any program. Unfortunately, I cannot promise a tear-free experience since I lack magical powers, but my proven step-by-step formula, if followed consistently, will seem like magic in the end!

When we start to make big changes to your baby’s sleep habits and the structure of their day, it is understandable and completely normal that they are going to be confused. Unable to articulate their confusion into words (as they don’t have any yet), crying is how they get their message across. ‘Mummy, last night you rocked me to sleep and I slept in your arms, tonight you’ve just put me here in the cot. What’s going on!’ Please know, I will never ask you to leave your baby to cry on their own. I want you to be there to offer support and reassurance to your baby.

The good news is that the amount of crying significantly reduces night-on-night, nap-by-nap, as you go through the program. Many baby falls asleep easily without any fussing or crying after the sleep program. A baby who wakes up excessively during the night and refuses to take naps cries significantly more than those babies who have confident sleep skills and are rested.

No. There are multiple reasons why.

If this were possible, the human race would have become extinct long ago. Babies are so deeply ‘hardwired’ to cry when they need something that even the most ruthless and unscrupulous parenting (let alone the good and caring parents I work with) could not teach them to stay silent when they want to cry. The parents who are listening, not just responding in autopilot, and also communicating with their children in a sensible way, encourage their babies to use their crying for better communication.

Babies naturally ‘speak’ the language of crying, which has been causing bad feelings in parents (and in those who hear them) since the dawn of mankind. Throughout evolution this bad feeling has served the function of encouraging parents to listen to their children. Could this be forgotten or unlearnt by a mother or a father? Impossible. Every time we hear our child crying, we get the same feeling: something is pushing and pulling us towards our child. This feeling can and should be managed  to raise our children and stay sane but this feeling cannot be removed from us. The same way children cannot unlearn crying when in need.

What’s more, did you know? When babies go from one sleep cycle to another at night, it is often loud for a few seconds or minutes. Miraculously, most of the time the baby is not even awake!

You can read more about this in my blog >>> here.

You don’t have to choose between attachment and healthy sleep habits. Your baby needs a healthy, flexible, sensitive, loving mum, not one that takes care of him/her exhausted, irritated and out of a sense of duty and guilt.

You want to be in close physical contact with your baby, it’s just natural that you do. It’s healthier if you do it by a conscious choice and not because you fear the attachment between you and your baby will break if you take some me-time while your baby sleeps in the cot. Feeding tired babies and not allowing them to cry, if they would like to signal that they need something else, while the isolated and exhausted mom in scrolling her phone is not an ideal attachment-style.

You can bond with your child in a baby carrier, too, it’s just an amazing chance to spend time with your child, but not necessarily a perfect timing to work, clean up the house or cook – safe sleeping guidelines require constant attention to sleeping babies in the carrier, too. You might do all the chores faster while baby sleeps in the cot, and when awake again, bonding time can continue.

Keep in mind that attachment parenting in fact refers to the attachment of the mother to the baby and not the other way around. Healthy babies by nature are attached to their mother (and father and caregiver) no matter what, even when the mother cannot be attached to them. True attachment parenting demonstrates a healthy attachment from the mother towards the baby by remaining healthy, sensitive to her own needs, responsible for her own health, self-loving, and confident. On difficult days (when things go sideways, which can occur when there is a baby at home) mothers don’t risk to break the attachment with their baby. As the matter of fact, when things go worse than just a bit sideways (e.g. postpartum depression), babies attach even more, not less. Give your baby and yourself safe sleep and then bond when you can dedicate your attention to your baby.

This is the reason why I offer a free video call, where you have the opportunity to ask questions from me and have a first impression to decide whether you want to work with me or not.

It certainly will be different with me because I am not selling a mass-service. What I sell is one of a kind: you don’t only get access to my knowledge and experience about sleep, the service doesn’t stop at coaching but you also get in a deeper touch with your own understanding of parenting. You reframe your inner struggles so that you can get in the right mindset and create own, new normal in your family life. I’ll not tell you what is normal, but I surely guide you towards order and inner piece, to see your situation in a different perspective and to let you choose the way that is appealing to you.

Establishing healthy sleep habits for your baby can begin as early as birth because infants naturally need a lot of sleep. However, it’s often most beneficial to focus on improving sleep when you, as parents, sense that your child isn’t sleeping well. If poor sleep affects both your child’s daily routine and yours, it’s a good time to make positive changes to help them sleep better. The key to success in improving sleep lies in your commitment as parents.

Babies typically start developing sleep habits around their third or fourth month of life. This doesn’t mean you can’t instill healthy habits from the start, as some babies naturally sleep well initially, while others may require more assistance. While it’s helpful to support your baby’s sleep in the beginning, keep in mind that, in the long run, it’s better for them to learn to sleep independently. So, it’s a good idea to aim for independent sleep from the beginning through your parenting practices. If your baby sleeps in ways that aren’t independent initially, don’t worry; it’s not a bad sign. However, after a few months, especially if sleep issues persist, gently encouraging your baby to sleep independently is advisable.

It is essential to differentiate between co-sleeping and room sharing, as the terms are frequently mistaken for one another. In this context, co-sleeping refers to sharing a bed with your baby. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics’ safe sleep recommendations (>>> AAP Safe Sleep), it’s not recommended to share the same bed with your infant, so I do not work with families who opt to bed-share. To help your baby develop effective, independent sleep skills, they require a suitable, age-appropriate, and safe individual sleeping area.

Definitely! It is advised that infants share a room with a parent for a minimum of the first 6 months to assist in lowering the risk of SIDS. And this is not an obstacle of good sleep, so if you need assistance in this, I can give you my recommendations.

No, this statement is incorrect.

As Bill Dement, the famous sleep scientist has said, ‘sleep is of the brain, by the brain, and for the brain’. Sleep is not a stomach, but a brain-activity. A properly nourished baby, regardless of being formula or breastfed, can acquire the ability to self-settle or sleep independently, subsequently leading to sleeping for longer durations and more peacefully throughout the night.

Additionally, it’s essential to highlight that I don’t concentrate on the method of feeding your baby; instead, I prioritize ensuring that your baby receives sufficient nutrition for their growth and overall well-being!

No. You don’t have to – or better put you shouldn’t – choose between breastfeeding and sleep. Your baby needs both feeding and sleeping.

There is a myth that when babies are weaned from the breast they sleep better. I know a mother who went to the ER in the middle of the night with her baby because she was exhausted to the point of breaking down as her baby woke up every 20 minutes and she kept breastfeeding for nights on and on. In the ER they couldn’t help them, because excessive night wakings are considered normal (although it’s not good neither for the baby nor for the mom) and they recommended to stop breastfeeding at all and that would help.

The mother from the story continued breastfeeding for almost 2 years but good sleep came to them way earlier, when she took a conscious and responsible parental act and started a sleep program.

If you are interested about the story, you can read it in my blog >>> here.

Definitely! One of the wonderful aspects of one-to-one coaching is our ability to customize sleep plans to meet your family’s unique needs. As many families often have their children in daycare or have a nanny due to busy work schedules, it’s essential that all caregivers are on the same page about the sleep habits, and everyone is onboard to maintain the approach consistently. There is practically no limit how many caregivers of a given child can attend the consultation, because the goal is to prepare everyone to enable developing healthy sleep habits for your child. I provide guidance and support to ensure that everyone involved has the knowledge and tools to maintain a consistent sleep routine for your baby. 
The crucial factor in assisting your child in building solid sleep habits and becoming a thriving little sleep expert yourself is maintaining consistency. This entails ensuring that all caregivers involved in your child’s care, such as mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, or nanny/helper, adhere to the same consistent method when getting your little one ready and settling them in their bed for sleep.

Keep in mind that sleep coaching is not a substitute for pediatrician, healthcare specialist or psychological care. To what level I can improve the sleep of your child will depend on the health problem. If it is about a condition from which the child is expected to recover soon, I might suggest to wait until full recovery.

If this is not expected soon, then my suggestions will depend on how much the medical conditions and the taken drugs and treatments impact sleep itself. I often collaborate with the child’s main healthcare provider and ask for doctors’ clearance to start the sleep program. I might add that it happens sometimes after a successful sleep program that children with suspected neurodevelopment disorders (e.g. ADHD) become symptom-fee after a few nights of good sleep.

If your child needs special care on a long term, then I would collaborate with his/her healthcare provider and suggest healthy sleep habits that are sustainable along with the child’s treatment and help getting as much restful sleep as it is possible.

To maximise the likelihood of achieving a positive sleep experience through our sleep program regimen, it is advantageous that you remain at home throughout the entire duration of the program. Look at your calendar to find a time when you have at least 2 weeks of ‘normal’ activity (no vacations, weddings, doctor’s appointments, or big schedule changes). The best time to begin this sleep program is when your child will be in his/her typical environment for two consecutive weeks. If your child goes to daycare, I recommend to schedule the sleep program to a period when the child goes to daycare at least for about 5-6 days throughout the whole 2-week program.